Stuck in the middle
It's our 5mth anniversary. Just when I thought that we will last, if not, we still will last long. We quarrelled.And it is always about her.
WHen i agreed with him that we shouldn't tell her. Because, we didn't want her to feel so upset... THen, I was trying to protect her feelings. Ask her about questions, about her and Dear Dear, so that we know when is the right time to tell her about certain things. Updated my old blog, so that she will get suspicious. Incase of her finding out, she would have at least mentally prepared about what's going to come. Well, one thing trigger another, and she wrote harsh things about me. And bitch about me. Bitching on her old blog, where all her close friends who knows me, is readin it. I was upset.
But dear Dear always assure me that I was doing the right thing about not telling her.. Yet, I was upset, so i told my close friends, and trash out my pent-up frustrations. and they told me that i was in the wrong to hide from her. In any case, I was the one betraying her. That, She can't be blame for reacting this way. When, i was thinking through... I was afraid of her finding out. That I wanted to salvage any last left of this friendship. I would rather tell her. I wanted to tell her. seeking the approval of Dear Dear who disagree saying that:" I have to bear the consequences." If i tell, she would tell C.C people like Ar and KT. And i would lose both of them. And there are another people to think about, like her DBS colleagues.
And it seems I am the one starting all these war on the blogs. ANd in the end, it's always me. But, I am the one who was made feel miserable. But, she is the one blatantly jealous and petty. That's why she act childishly. ANd i acted back in a fit of anger.
She was once my friend, that I can share about anything. My role model. Someone whom I admire , in the way things she does. NOw, that i see her handling the situation. I feel that my stomach churn, when mention about her.
I feel displeased and disappointed for how she feels. I am not the one who ruin it for you. Don't blame me. Just don't blame me. I don't want her to be the source of our quarrels. What happens when she finds out?Will you still be with me? Because, i defintely don't feel secure. And you don't reassure me. I am the bitch. because, in whatever things I do, ultimately, I am the one swallowing the consequences. And will be named the bad guy... opps it's bad gal.
Tell me that, you still be with me, if she ever does find out, and not run away. Take my insecurities away.
Tell me you are worth it.
Tell me I am worth it.
Tell me that I am wrong,
Tell me that I am right. Tell me that you love me. ( I didn't hear it tonight)
Just tell me...mood: In pain
WHen i agreed with him that we shouldn't tell her. Because, we didn't want her to feel so upset... THen, I was trying to protect her feelings. Ask her about questions, about her and Dear Dear, so that we know when is the right time to tell her about certain things. Updated my old blog, so that she will get suspicious. Incase of her finding out, she would have at least mentally prepared about what's going to come. Well, one thing trigger another, and she wrote harsh things about me. And bitch about me. Bitching on her old blog, where all her close friends who knows me, is readin it. I was upset.
But dear Dear always assure me that I was doing the right thing about not telling her.. Yet, I was upset, so i told my close friends, and trash out my pent-up frustrations. and they told me that i was in the wrong to hide from her. In any case, I was the one betraying her. That, She can't be blame for reacting this way. When, i was thinking through... I was afraid of her finding out. That I wanted to salvage any last left of this friendship. I would rather tell her. I wanted to tell her. seeking the approval of Dear Dear who disagree saying that:" I have to bear the consequences." If i tell, she would tell C.C people like Ar and KT. And i would lose both of them. And there are another people to think about, like her DBS colleagues.
And it seems I am the one starting all these war on the blogs. ANd in the end, it's always me. But, I am the one who was made feel miserable. But, she is the one blatantly jealous and petty. That's why she act childishly. ANd i acted back in a fit of anger.
She was once my friend, that I can share about anything. My role model. Someone whom I admire , in the way things she does. NOw, that i see her handling the situation. I feel that my stomach churn, when mention about her.
I feel displeased and disappointed for how she feels. I am not the one who ruin it for you. Don't blame me. Just don't blame me. I don't want her to be the source of our quarrels. What happens when she finds out?Will you still be with me? Because, i defintely don't feel secure. And you don't reassure me. I am the bitch. because, in whatever things I do, ultimately, I am the one swallowing the consequences. And will be named the bad guy... opps it's bad gal.
Tell me that, you still be with me, if she ever does find out, and not run away. Take my insecurities away.
Tell me you are worth it.
Tell me I am worth it.
Tell me that I am wrong,
Tell me that I am right. Tell me that you love me. ( I didn't hear it tonight)
Just tell me...mood: In pain
Comments