Dearest Santa
I made up my mind to study yesterday. However, i got distracted.. Ronnie was right, i won't study. Ok. never mind, I will study today..
I just want to vent my fustrations here for while..
I probably will blog on my the another blog specifically for her to see.
She said that she was betrayed by her so-call friends?? And I had betrayed her once, so by betraying her twice, it's her fault.
Firstly, I don't think i betrayed you. why did you hide from me, ur updates with him. The same thing why, I hide my outings from you. In the first place, I never wanted to be a factor between you and him.
You told me that you know everything, and I have nothing to say. Pls.. I called you to tell you that I still hold valid to my reasons. You are the one who said: " I know, different people handle things differently. "
I counted on you to be my friend, and not to think any less of me, when any others did, about my fling with Alex. But, no, u think likewise.
COme on, i prayed every single day. for myself to learn how to be happy for you and him when I thought, you will end with him.
And when i asked about him, I just to find out if you are happy. And i was really happy for you, I was! I wasn't digging information.
I always looked up to you as a role model, a friend who lends me a shoulder, who lends me her bed, who wakes up in the middle of the night, to bring plastic bag to me, when i needed to puke. Most of all, someone, who didn't think any less of me, when everybody else did about my fling with Alex.
You think I didn't love Jack. Who are you to judge? I wanted to give myself chance for this relationship and I did try. Were you there, to see my heart pains and my misery, when I think i failed. Did you see my struggles? and I was crying, because, I trying to find the courage to break up with him. The day I left, I did have some feelings left..
He wanted to try to start a relationship with you. And he told me to wish him luck. I remembered it was 22.8.2005. I prayed every single day for myself to learn how to be happy for the both of you. When I asked you about him and you? I asked because, I wanted to know if I did the right thing and you were happy. NOT because, I wanted to digging information about you and him.
On 21.08.2005, i woke up at 11.30pm, and I couldn't handle it,I had to ask my friend to sit through with my for that half-an hour. And when I thought, I could move on with my life. I found out you were not with him, I was shatter as well, I can't go through that again... I know you were upset.. I wanted to comfort you. I lend you my sincere ears.
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Both of us, wanted to let you know, step by step. We didn't wanted you to br crushed. Frankly speaking, I know, you are not mature to handle it, no matter how mature you are. Everytime, I want to tell you, the picture of you crying on the boat trip to Bintan comes floating in my mind.
We thought, ur feelings might fade, after a while, when you realises that things had changed between the both of you. It didn't . And times, that I wanted to send u a hint, even talk about him. You shut urself off.
He gave a clear message about you and him. How much clearer do you want him to be??? Maybe, you couldn't comprehend.
Friends? so-call friends? Ever thought, what you done? You could trashed out those nasty stuffs about me in your blog. You called that a friend too?? I tried to ignore those words. And you know how ur words hurt me?
Incompetence???? WHen i was the one who didn't have the exprience, but I make sure that I looked after the puppy. My mom was giving me immmense pressure, but did you listen? no?
Friend??? when you make used of me, and of the situation to get the answer you want???
WHat exactly do you want?
Friendship maybe ruin. But you ever ready to talk to me again... This door of this friendship is sill open...
I just want to vent my fustrations here for while..
I probably will blog on my the another blog specifically for her to see.
She said that she was betrayed by her so-call friends?? And I had betrayed her once, so by betraying her twice, it's her fault.
Firstly, I don't think i betrayed you. why did you hide from me, ur updates with him. The same thing why, I hide my outings from you. In the first place, I never wanted to be a factor between you and him.
You told me that you know everything, and I have nothing to say. Pls.. I called you to tell you that I still hold valid to my reasons. You are the one who said: " I know, different people handle things differently. "
I counted on you to be my friend, and not to think any less of me, when any others did, about my fling with Alex. But, no, u think likewise.
COme on, i prayed every single day. for myself to learn how to be happy for you and him when I thought, you will end with him.
And when i asked about him, I just to find out if you are happy. And i was really happy for you, I was! I wasn't digging information.
I always looked up to you as a role model, a friend who lends me a shoulder, who lends me her bed, who wakes up in the middle of the night, to bring plastic bag to me, when i needed to puke. Most of all, someone, who didn't think any less of me, when everybody else did about my fling with Alex.
You think I didn't love Jack. Who are you to judge? I wanted to give myself chance for this relationship and I did try. Were you there, to see my heart pains and my misery, when I think i failed. Did you see my struggles? and I was crying, because, I trying to find the courage to break up with him. The day I left, I did have some feelings left..
He wanted to try to start a relationship with you. And he told me to wish him luck. I remembered it was 22.8.2005. I prayed every single day for myself to learn how to be happy for the both of you. When I asked you about him and you? I asked because, I wanted to know if I did the right thing and you were happy. NOT because, I wanted to digging information about you and him.
On 21.08.2005, i woke up at 11.30pm, and I couldn't handle it,I had to ask my friend to sit through with my for that half-an hour. And when I thought, I could move on with my life. I found out you were not with him, I was shatter as well, I can't go through that again... I know you were upset.. I wanted to comfort you. I lend you my sincere ears.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Both of us, wanted to let you know, step by step. We didn't wanted you to br crushed. Frankly speaking, I know, you are not mature to handle it, no matter how mature you are. Everytime, I want to tell you, the picture of you crying on the boat trip to Bintan comes floating in my mind.
We thought, ur feelings might fade, after a while, when you realises that things had changed between the both of you. It didn't . And times, that I wanted to send u a hint, even talk about him. You shut urself off.
He gave a clear message about you and him. How much clearer do you want him to be??? Maybe, you couldn't comprehend.
Friends? so-call friends? Ever thought, what you done? You could trashed out those nasty stuffs about me in your blog. You called that a friend too?? I tried to ignore those words. And you know how ur words hurt me?
Incompetence???? WHen i was the one who didn't have the exprience, but I make sure that I looked after the puppy. My mom was giving me immmense pressure, but did you listen? no?
Friend??? when you make used of me, and of the situation to get the answer you want???
WHat exactly do you want?
Friendship maybe ruin. But you ever ready to talk to me again... This door of this friendship is sill open...
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