To whom it concern

I feel fearful.
It's the month when I hate myself again.
Pushed it at the back of my head, when the emotions rained,
arranging the tissues on my face to a frowm.
I smelled scent that came from flower.

But, I didn't thnk much of it.

Then there was personal encounters of my colleagues.

And I thought I have the heart for it.

I freaked out.

There was this girl who was a chirst Follower who ended up being possessed.

I was upset, and I asked "why"

Nobody can answered.

So that day, I ended up having to go home alone and there was the scent again.

Well, it is the 7th month.

I stood out the taxi, I smelled it.

I looked everywhere for a sign of the flower.

But I don't see it.

I even went up to the nearest flower to smell if it was coming from there.

The worst thing, I thought I was safe at home.

But the scent was lingering at my window.

I as so started praying, hard.

The presence of God which I often experience, was the a sense of peace,

and some chill-like feel at the ankle and then the whole body,

and I feel a sudden rush of overwhelmingness.

The presence lingered over the eerie-chill like feeling.

And I could feel both of such "feelings" for few seconds.

And presence of God left. The smell was gone.

Well, if you think it's all pschyology. I tried sniffing at the window for a while.

But it wasn't there.

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By the way, sometimes, it was just more than your attention I required.

Sometimes, I forgot, it was your presence and effort to do things for me.

That give me the sense of being loved.

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I should stopped being a whiny bitch, and appreciate more my life.

But, I am not complaining.

It's just that the there is certain day, you wake feeling ugly,

and everything after that feels ugly.

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And here is the deal.

I am not some friend who knows if there is not right between us.

And I will not talk about it.

I can't do it without setting it straight.

And if things are not trashed out, it was never right between us.

There was always be shadow of a doubt.

Don't expect me to tell pple things, if pple are unwilling to share things.

I have no obligations or what or ever, to say something that I know or do not know.

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