Tried and tired
Ok, I am am tired.... tired of people , including my loves one, thinking the world is too much for me. When, I am trying my best to fulfill the society's perception of what a successful person is.
I never thought never able to do anything, was incapability of a person. I never realise, one day I wasn't able to do anything. However, the moral of the story is always, "Never give up." or " You sow what you reAp." THis year, I am at my last attempt of my papers. I wanted to get this degree, no matter what.
My mentality of studying, is no matter how the slow the person absorb, her efforts would not go down the drain. So, I tried putting effort last yr, yes though neglecting a couple of subjects. To my disappointment, I couldn't make it past the past of half of the number of papers that I sat for. I was looking for comfort, but to get dismissed of my efforts.
So, this year, i started earlier, but of course at a slow from the beginning, still taking time for granted till the last lap of the starting of the exams.
I suddenly feel stupid very incapable, for not able to do my econs paper. I don't know what went wrong. I didn't feel good when i came out of the exam hall.
In addition, a friend add salt into the wound but saying, someone is cleverer than you, you failed the papers so many times, still cannot pass. And when the lady doing my numerology, said that I am a smart lady, my companions were surprise.
Jiamiao said," If u keep failing your driving, I wouldn't be able to get my money back."
so, this is what the world thinks of me , including my loves ones.
I feel tired for trying right now, I feel angry with the whole world. I really hate them.
But, I really need this degree. SO I aM on my own, whether you support me or not.
At, I can prove to myself. I don't really care about anyone else.
I always want a physical presence for comfort. The ironic thing, God gave me the most comfort. Something Ronnie will never understand.
I never thought never able to do anything, was incapability of a person. I never realise, one day I wasn't able to do anything. However, the moral of the story is always, "Never give up." or " You sow what you reAp." THis year, I am at my last attempt of my papers. I wanted to get this degree, no matter what.
My mentality of studying, is no matter how the slow the person absorb, her efforts would not go down the drain. So, I tried putting effort last yr, yes though neglecting a couple of subjects. To my disappointment, I couldn't make it past the past of half of the number of papers that I sat for. I was looking for comfort, but to get dismissed of my efforts.
So, this year, i started earlier, but of course at a slow from the beginning, still taking time for granted till the last lap of the starting of the exams.
I suddenly feel stupid very incapable, for not able to do my econs paper. I don't know what went wrong. I didn't feel good when i came out of the exam hall.
In addition, a friend add salt into the wound but saying, someone is cleverer than you, you failed the papers so many times, still cannot pass. And when the lady doing my numerology, said that I am a smart lady, my companions were surprise.
Jiamiao said," If u keep failing your driving, I wouldn't be able to get my money back."
so, this is what the world thinks of me , including my loves ones.
I feel tired for trying right now, I feel angry with the whole world. I really hate them.
But, I really need this degree. SO I aM on my own, whether you support me or not.
At, I can prove to myself. I don't really care about anyone else.
I always want a physical presence for comfort. The ironic thing, God gave me the most comfort. Something Ronnie will never understand.