Adelynn's world

Sour

2011-12-29T04:29:00.000+07:00

The world has been very cruel to me. As I keep thinking, the flashbacks keep flipping fast like all past videos have been put together in my head.

I lost the pride, I always thought I was able to voice out my thoughts very clearly. My peers, family and friends understood me fairly well.

I always thought that my standard of English was fairly good. I do not know, if it is over the years, or I just never had it in me. I felt shame and disgrace.

Maybe, it is in me to want feel accepted in places, and I tune in to their frequency and losing bit and pieces of myself.

I always thought it is a norm to share the daily aspects of my life with my husband.
I always value my husband's thoughts and advice. Whether I like it or not, there is an element of truth in it. Pride always stood in the way, and it is quite hard to swallow the truth sometimes. I mean even criticisms between husband and wife, and I want have a little dignity left. Is this something so hard to understand?

I mean, I am not the greatest wife, however, whom are you comparing too? Your mom? my mom?
What makes a good wife? What is the expecation of being a wife? I became someone whom never does the household chores to transiting into somone making breakfast, ironing clothes, washing clothes, washing dishes. It wasn't a like a slow motion , or a slow change. It was something that I know I had to do. My thoughts are always on you. I could use time making breakfast, to doing my make up, making myself presentable. I iron the clothes, so you have a nice shirt to wear, a nice ironed shirt reflects the presenation of yourself to your clients.

I mean it is really not great, you know but I did anyway,whether I am angry , not angry, because I love you and I do not want you to iron the shirt yourself. I grumbled, but I did not stop doing it for you. I mean little things are vocally aired, because the actions behind mean a lot more. Tell me, this is not part of aspect of being a good wife?

Do you want me to bring the shoes to you and wear the apron everyday? I could do that ! I mean I do not have subject myself to humiliation and stressed, hoping to get a job. Hoping to establish my career. I am aware that I am happy with my acheivements. The many things I want to do, because I want you to be proud of me.

What more have I not done? You named it, haven't I done it? You mentioned that you want me to cook, so you could be proud of me. I did it! I balancing a life with work and finally learning how to cook. I mean , do I have to really learn it? Why? out of so many dishes, I started out with Chicken rice. I gave myself so much stress, and to make sure the chicken rice was perfect, or near to perfection. What is the result of it?

WHAT I AM NOT A GREAT WIFE STILL???????? My expectations of you as a husband is to spend time with me. The little F**K face, which you alway call , is me trying to tell you, c'mon, you know what I want, do I really have to voice it out?????? I am certain you do know what I want all the time. Why am I being difficult, because I want you to coax me more, and to make me feel loved.

Little expecations, and I wonder why again expecations fall short.
Please, I would like to see how many girls are contented , IF THEIR BIRTHDAY IS NOT CELEBRATED.... FOR GOD SAKE, I WAITED ONE WHOLE YEAR for that day...... .

If you did want to cook, yar I get it. There wasn't any effort being put it? Like you keep asking me, if you really wanted to cook, you would have got yourself out the house, and putting your mind to it. I would have been really touched. The fact you are so fickled mind ticked me off I spend half a day not enjoying my day. You could have really made it better.

I do want a luxury bag, but in the first place I never expected it from you. Until you relented and you tried to find a decent deal for me.
It wasn't about you buying big bags for me. It was my interest to indulge into collecting them. I don't have time anymore for myself. I do not seem to find time to do things that I like. I shape myself to your activities, because I want to spend time with you. Yes with a willing soul. The piano sits like a white elephant. I hardly read books anymore. I hardly drink a cup of coffee in the morning, breathing in the breeze. I hardly have one day, just one day of not doing anything. I hardly have time to spend with friends. I
like the bags since I was 19, when I was old enough to afford them.

It was the little things, it could be about carebears, flowers, sitting with you in the pick up. Sitting behind you on the bike, making sure I didn't fall asleep. Eating ice cream waffles in Malaysia. You coming back for me from Penang for my birthday. You stopped the car, when you saw me walking on the streets. Your initiative to ballot for a flat. When you bought the huge ring for me.

Little things makes me happy, buying Tshirts for you. buying briefs for you. Planning the birthday surprise for you in MBS. I took one whole month to think , how to surprise you. I took one whole year into doing the photobook for you during last Christmas! It was a year project. It took me all my will power, to make sure I executing the cooking project for you in our humble house.

I am not great, but it is the effort, apparently it just not good enough for anybody. No matter how I do, what I did, it is just going to substandard.

This is just a rant of " Not a great wife" , the person with the worse character. Everything associating with a negative connotation.

Now I wonder why, I keep losing my self esteem.

Singapore Kindness Movement

2011-11-15T23:22:00.001+07:00

Well, Nuffnang were choosing some bloggers to place Singapore Kindness Movement ad banner on their blog.

They showed my company the list of bloggers.

But the ad show up on my blog.. No Big deal.

But just wanna share some excitement with myself.. :)

Ade

World Kindness Day -13 nov

2011-11-13T12:14:00.000+07:00

My company has did the nedia planning for Singapore Kindness Movement.

I feel pretty proud of the efforts that they have put in, and the opportunity that my company is working on the campagin. I like the entire idea of the skin, as it does brighten up one's day.

To bus stop shelters.

(These photos are taken off Nuffnang, Singapore Kindness Movement and The Media Shop)

It's funny why do the the government need to promote kindness. When our urban , modernistic culture have started the young from developing kindness within them.

I guess it does serve as a reminder despite the Busy Schedule and self-centred attitude during workdays. One kind action gets a "Thank you" , we won't mind doing it over and over again, because people appreciate it.

Not like the time, I got up and gave up my seat for this pregnant lady and she take it as if it should have be done. sigghhhhhh..... I thought one simple thank you was enough, but no.

So pregnant ladies, please say thank you alright?

Signing off: Ade

FRIGHT NIGHT

2011-09-11T22:02:00.000+07:00

I was reading "Break Dawn", it start to dawned upon me. I am getting too old for this.

Living in fantasies, thinking about how it would be like to be immortal, jumping , flying with great speed.

So I try to catch any many vampire movies/ series as possible, sink myself into such fantasies.

I was hooked on to the "Fright Night" trailer when I was saw it, it was intense. This is the movie I have to watch sure.

"Jerry" from the movie too yummylicious to protray as the bad guy. It would be contracting to see how I will support the good guys vs supporting hot guy but bad guy.

Anyway, I decided to be silly and to do up a Fright night vampire picure, but ended looking like one friendly vampire. *smiles*

“Catch Fright Night in cinemas this 22 September and like the Official Fright Night Singapore Facebook Page!”http://www.facebook.com/FrightNightSingapore

Signing Off : Ade

Singapore Chicken Recipe

2011-09-11T17:09:00.001+07:00

I finally a home owner, we know what it is like to be Singaporean women.

The pampered, sheltered girl, whom most foreigners like nicknamed Singapore counterpart or stereotyped.

I think most Singaporean guys like to downgrade their females in the sexist comment.

Same goes for my man, Ronald. However, I think he is the tradition Chinese guy whom like to do that, and pushed me to be a better person. Ironic? I think not.

He has been teasing me that I do not know how to cook for ages. And I have been pushing off for ages, saying, when I get my house, I will learn how to cook.

I think it got pretty bad, when I started to self doubt myself, looking at all my friends, whom has forte , strength? What do I have?

I got down to buying the chicken.

THE CHICKEN

Chop Chop, chopping the head chicken. It was pretty sad thing to do, I see the half closed eyes of thechicken. I was hesitant to chop, but I needed dinner right? So I went ahead with it. CHOP!
Washing insides of the chicken was nasty and pretty disgusting. (Get over and get done it)
Massaging the Chicken with sea salt, subsquently, rubbing fine salt over the glinting chicken and the inside of it.
Putting the spring onion and the garlic and ginger.
Boiling the chicken for 5 mins , I transfer the chicken to narrower but taller pot that allows the water to cover the entire chicken. (Left over broth). It means that a pot that cover the chicken in the first place. Left the chicken to boil , make sure switch to low fire after the bubbles start to appear.
Frying the garlic and the ginger, chopped the both
Washed the rice, and took the left over broth when transfering and poured into the pot of rice , together with fried giner and garlic. Add the pandan leaf.
THe chicken should ready by now after 1/2 hr , use a fork to poke it, poke poke. If it's poked through. It should be ready.
Start choping again!!! If it is your first time chopping hide the ugly chopped chicken beneath the garnishing!
The broth should come to a good use as soup, add a little salt, taste it and it would be ready to serve.

Ta Da ----- beaming with pride

Thank you to my bff Tracy whom help me with the rice. Owe her a few kisses.

Singapore woman, learn to cook.

Men's stomach is the way to keep them. *evil laughter*

signing off : Ade

INSECURE

2011-09-06T23:49:00.000+07:00

Awake , listening to the rustling leaves outside my house.
My very own house.

I am not too sure if why the house feels so empty.
I am not too sure why.

Self-pity? Anger? Insecure?
Like I look back, I came back a pretty long way.

At the age of 27, I have completed my degree. I am married for a year.
I am a owner of a house. I started a new job.

So what more do I want?

Your words are taking a toil on me. Each words pierce my heart.
I picked up cooking, trying to keep the house as tidy as much as possible.
I completed my degree, tried to keep my anger in check.

I keep feeling that I keep holding on something , that I don't know if it would burst one day.
I don't want it to be a one-sided affair.

My tiny world will collapsed, because you had been plastering the holes all the while.

If I turned up at 4am looking for you, coming back upset , because I saw your beautiful wife and kids. I am can't take it. - quoted from Adele

If I keep changing, and you still find ways to pick on me.
Leave me alone, because I know I have been fighting and changing.

It's a challenge for me to take care of your mom's feelings.
I hate every single bit being with her. Because of her taunts, uncalled for jokes.
It has been getting to me each passing years.
I have no room for compassion.

I am really not a bad person.
But I have dealing with my Mum-in-law. And I have no qualms about taking care of her.
I don't think I can deal with staying with her.
However, it seemed like if I were to opt for our husband and wife's world of our own, I am a bad person. I am not filial .

I go bershek, after the painful incident.
I can't let you out of my sight.
I can't keep the pain inside.
It is too much to bear.
I can't let go.

I can't let go.

Ade

Bonding

2011-08-09T18:04:00.002+07:00

I went heaps and heaps of obstacles.

Never in my life, I have encounter something like this.

What is the worse is not the situation that made a fool out of you.
It's people.

It's not the listening to promises that someone promises you. It's empty promsies.
It's more of making it real , by starting some where, waiting in vain.

The making of a boss, it not easy making decisions.
In fact,to make an examples, I maybe the best examples or fit to talk about it.

The way, we look at thing, there is two sides to a coin.
The agreement came only when come to getting your pay, cornering you to to fulfill the figures before releasing.

After which, telling the staffs the particular person (guess who)is the reason why the rest of the staff has paycut.

I have trying to work out every single day not thinking of petrol consumption. THere were mere allowances to help me out.

She understand , she says. However, she just refuse the accept the fact that I am arguing every single moment with my hubby about not having money.

All she did was leave an imaginary worm, telling not even trust the person sleeping beside him. Telling my man is a flirt.

So in the midst of the house moving, money spent on the house, car accident, job insecuirty. The quarrel was pretty intense to a degree that we talked about divorcing.

But this man stood beside me and in the midst calling and idiot and stubborn, but he helped me and pushed me to my limits and I so am here not quitting. I know what I want.

I love this man, because he has become more of a husband material lately. Helping me with the house work. With the close bonding these days, I start understand this man even better.

hmmmmmm

New Home

2011-07-20T22:15:00.002+07:00

Finally a bigger space which I can called my home.

We did it a very budget way, government opt tiles and doors.
Furnitures from JB.

We only moved three big items into the house, Piano, mattress and Thread mill.

The rest, we slowly unload into the house.
Rather irritated that I had to bring back some items that I resent, such as a broken cabinet, because our Cabinet has not arrived yet.

Wedding photos from bro-in-law and sis-in-law, not that I didn't want, but I don't see any place appropriate to display the photo. Busybody mum had to squeeze that it.

The most irritable manner that I shown, mum told me that husband cannot carry a basin and potty which was inheirited from the wedding exchange.
I so bloody irritated that I refused to carry it because she mentioning one too many times.

Especially the shoes, husband is not supposed to help me carry. I was really reaching boiling point. It never to remind me it's a better idea not to stay with in-laws.

ConfessionS

2011-04-03T14:50:00.004+07:00

I have a confession to make, as soon as Ronnie walk out the door to go for a little swim, I leaped into a dance of joy before my brain can tells me he is going out.

After heated discussion about choosing the furniture, it slowly sank into reality that my house is coming !!!! whoo peeee..

After months after tolerating family habits, I was just impatient about having it my way. Who knows, they have been tolerating me as much I have been. Maybe, there is too many miscomuunication because there was no communication to beign with.

But I having my fresh smelling toilet, or I do the washing at my own time or i bring down the clothes as when as I want to!!!!
Or I don't have to be play filial piety and to be disappointed because it will never be appreciated. To stuck in between the both of them, and like throwing up because I always the one been blamed because of the denial that the son chose to make the decision.

The tolerating of opening of the door before the knock, when I always have my privacy in my own home room. The commanding of what she wants and asking to say please and we start another heated argument of me not being respectful.

Sometimes, I wonder if I am the one being too being too narrow minded, but all I know I trying to breathe in the patience, while it always been quickly suck out.
The key is not tell your husband because he doesn't know what to do, but I tell him, I don't have a choice when I lash it out at him. I don't make him choose, all I need is sturdy reliable shoulders.

However, I have make it clear to both parties, I have no intention of staying with her, or giving an option of a choice. I turn deaf , blind to give no yield of allowing her to step a foot in my house. Of course, I am more than welcoming her to visit. She can whine, complain to the world and damage my reputation , being angry, but no way I allow it.

My heart turned into a cold stone, or you can stoned me for the matter (pun intended). But I also make sure that she won't be left alone, that's my promise to her, if she had heard and digested it.

AFter all, I weigh the decisions and conseqences, I rather stayed with my husband till death then allowing her to disrupt it and end up in the ruckus.

My confessions XOXO Ade

Ranting about Works

2011-03-19T10:38:00.002+07:00

I am damn bloody procastinator but I had try so many ways to buck on it.

If you got the instincts right, you are marked at work, you should start looking into another.

I hate my instincts. I right about alot of things, base on instincts. But sometimes my instincts fails. Not that I should looking into another job but I hate it when I am binded by rules.

The saddest thing about it, because I need the job.
So I have to swallow alot of things.

But you know, they hate my guts because I am vocal about some things which they probably know it's right. so there.

2011-02-04T01:35:00.002+07:00

How did I not support you?
Why ever when I try to spend time with you, you get agitated.
I no need to a single thing, but everything seem I do or I look irriates u .

you make me laugh
I use to make you laugh.
But now I irk you.
I still want you to want me.
But you never do now.

you never do now.

Loathing it ,every single thing.

I will agree to it.
Just give me time I will agree to it.

Trying

2011-02-04T01:23:00.002+07:00

if constant trying doesn't allow to see I have been.

yes, everything is deemed over.

The fact I don't do anything , assumption taken its place.
I know it's more than to it, than meet the eyes.

Take care. GOOD bye

Emoing

2010-10-17T19:37:00.002+07:00

I took on a rocky road. This time those feelings piled up , no huge area of carpet could covered it up.

Why I refused to tell anybody, because of those harsh judgement which I can't comprehend. It got pretty ridiculous at times, when you tried to explain, they are stuck with rigid mentality. I got pretty suffocated, so I stopped.

The job took a toil on me, becuase it was exhausting making it right with the clients. No doubt I was happier.

I spent alot time on my job. I think things got overwhelming. I was stucked. Before marriage, I wanted my lifetime dedicated to my hubsand. The more I spent with him, the more I felt apart, thinking the only logical thing was focus on my job. It helps after a while, but I was pretty empty inside.

The thing that helped kept me insane, was those meaningful conversations, that makes life go on. I think my world came crashing down, I found out it will come to a halt one day.

Took a weekend off everything, spoke to my husband. you know what's most comforting thing, he lying falling asleep beside me, and we are able to stand the test of time.
I don't think anybody from a outside point of view has a better or clearer vision.
They don't see what I see.

Perhaps, they don't see it. I think I see the bigger picture better than most people.

Emoing doesn't stop, my heart comes to a peace for this current point. :)

Ade

You

2010-10-03T20:02:00.000+07:00

You complete me. I can't love without u.

Moments of regrets

2010-07-25T17:56:00.003+07:00

I am so done, done with dealing with everything.

For the whole month, that I was so stress, I just want to unwine.
I just want to club.

I just want to let down my hair to the right music.

I always had uncanny kind of support from my husband.

Then I realise, I wasn't good enough. I was never good enough.

I thought I have a soul mate to tell what happened in my life, my complains, my fustrations.
I thought wrong. I always thought I can count on him.
I thought wrong.

It was all my fault that everything happened. I can't complain, even if it my fault.
All the choices that I made, I MADE.
Spending less time with my friends, chosing to be with him.

And now I claiming credits for stating that out.
I felt so unappreciated, and I have to remind him the choices that I made.
I am not saying I super incredible and generous, I just saying I made these choices and willing to made the choices.

And he say he didn't say he didn't force me, and ask me to go with my friends.

That sentence choked me.

I am always the buffer , the buffer between the both of you. End up, I still I am not a good daughter-in-law , wife and mother in future.

FUCKING chee bye. REAllie literally. OR whatever, the swearing means. WHO is the fucking netshell who convey the message that our virgina in hokkien is a swear. HE Is really one hell of a dick head.

I am tired reallie tired. Tired of doing it REAllie, tired of running two houses and get the blame for putting my stuff here and there and forgetting where I put it. I reallie tired.

Tired of sparing a thought for his mom or him and being turned around and say that I am the selfish one.

I never buy anything for him.

I am not good enough, not good enough.

Just fuck off, go find a better one.

My ride - Chevrolet Sparks

2010-07-11T03:21:00.003+07:00

It was so overwhelming , with those accounts handed over to me. I know I had to do follow ups and reports .

The best thing is I had my ride.

I was abit hesitant about getting the car, it was so expensive to maintain a car in Singapore.

Getting a car, it's not about impulsive buying. Please do work out the finance.

I was wondering one of my friend seems a little obsessed with her car, why Ronnie scolds me if I leave the lights on, after switching off the engine. I slowly seemed to understand why.

Even though, it is a second hand, I handled it with care, always bearing in mind to switch of the radio and air-con. I also placed carebears to make the car look different. The car obtained some of my identity.

It was Ronnie's idea for me to get the car, so I was not so cite, as my direction sense sucked, so did my situation awareness. I had a phobia to drive alone. That is why after few months of getting my car license, I rather Ronnie to drive me.

The fear subsided, as I could drive alone, I learned how to navigate my way using the GPS.

I think we must proved that girl drive can be good or better male driver.. (shhh.. Don't tell my husband. )

Write up: SoHaute SoChic

2010-06-24T11:59:00.010+07:00

I don't know if it is coincidence or what.

As soon, I mentioned for Nuffnang to add ads on my blog, they did.

But the ads keep changing, though.

And I promised to do the free write-ups. pardon if I don't do splendid ones.

Ruffles in the Rage Electric Blue

The quality of the picture doesn't really justify the dress. Please go to JIPABAN , on the second page, you can see Ruffles in Rage Electric Blue and red.

This dress is definitely eye catching and as it accentuate your curves. Ruffles to distract bloated belly after dinner. It has a zipper top down, allowing you adjust the opening of the dress where you want it to be. hmmm.. Definitely a party dress !!

Preferred colour: Red , sizzling hot.

New Job

2010-06-24T02:13:00.008+07:00

I was whining about my job like forever. My previous company sucks, my previous company company sucks as well.

Seriously, I don't know which company sucks more. Never about this. Anyway, I will blogged about that the next time.

I found a new job with a publishing firm. I am doing advertising sales for the magazine, you will be surprised by which magazine it is.

Make a Guess.
FINE.. It's Motherhood.

I was always intrigue by the advertising industry, since young I like to watch the advertisments on TV and determined which ads catches my attention.

I flipped the pages of beauty magazines or wedding magazines, I would looked through the ads. The power of advertising can be very persuasive. Never mind about the irritating pop-up ads on the internet. Companies which advertise tend to have their brands synced with the audience. Like we used to say "Pampers" instead of diapers, till some other brands catched up by advertising.

I am damn proud of the magazine. Let me throw aside the humble pie, and say that the success of magazines's lifespan is six months and above. Motherhood's magazine has being running since 1983.

Since I wasn't a mother, I would have not bothered about the magazine. However, when I was in the training programme for 4 days and had some time. I picked the magazine, and started to read, the editoral contents was informative and related to the moms.

It sounds like I am promoting about the magazine right? I have read the magazine over and over again, four times and counting. If the magazine can actually interest a girl whom is not even thinking of having a kid now. I think its contents would relate very well with mother-to-be and mothers. Judging from its cover, the titles are definitely attention grabbing. Do I even need to promote the magazine in the first place?

Anyway, if you have chanced upon this blog and you are keen in advertising for the magazines, please drop message and contact number and email to adelynnoei@epl.com.sg

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And I do have to thank Nuffnang too. I was given two job offers, and I wasn't sure about which jobs I should have taken up.
Before the interview, I signed up for Nuffnang to host ads on my blog. I was comtemplating sending my resume to nuffnang to have a shot at it, as they were hiring Been always fascinated by the advertising world, Nuffnang feed my hunger to consider of such job opportunities in the industry. At the point of time, I was having my exams and also employed, so I missed out on sending my resume in the end.

So when this publishing firm interview came, my heart and my instincts told me this is what I wanted. However, I was pretty swayed by the better monetary package the other job offered me. I did prayed over this, yes I do believe the powers of prayers as well.

The next few days, the hints seemed to be hitting me in the face. I was writing about how me and my husband got pickpocket in London for his company's newsletter on how to travel safe in future. When my write up got published, I was beaming with pride. The TV ads keep flashing some beauty magazines from other companies. I mean you go and check the TV if they are advertising for any magazines rigth now, and you know that the ads of the magazine are not always airing. Plus I reviewed about Nuffnang and still completating if I should have send my resume.

I turned down the better offer and followed my heart. So let's see how it goes.

Anyway, if Nuffnangs has traced this blog, please put some ads on my blog already. I offer to do a free write-up for the products hosted on my blog :)

That's all for now, folks.

pheee

2010-06-08T16:41:00.003+07:00

My heart didn't race like it did before.
I refuse to play with fire , till you reached for me.

Was it all just a game? And my heart is ripped out that you could see so clearly.
For you to try to mess with it.

I told him the truth, because I hate lying to him.
He said "because I was all so new to you."

Maybe, he is right.
I wished i could burned the memories, but some still etched so deep.

I thought we shared something, maybe we did, not as lovers but as friends
For now quit playing my mind.

Adapted from someone's else memories

Enraged youth assaults female schoolmate

2010-05-14T08:20:00.013+07:00

With slaps and repeated slaps. The video of a Malay guy who slapped her female classmate has surfaced.
Take a look below.
malay youth slapping peer

After reading the comments on Yahoo. It infuriates me tremendously. We have no rights to comment what went on behind the scenes. I think violence do not justify justice. Morever, he was a guy, regardless faggot or not.

I feel that the school should punished him or law should been drawn up to intidimate these students. After our people follow law, partially, it is evil sanction attached to the law that we are afraid of.

Basically, I remembered I had a conversation with my ex manager. She said that , " You never know the world was like before, maybe there was also people who do the extremes, but we didn't know. Now that the world was has technologies, that make us aware of such people."

Whatever the girl did, I would not like anybody to hit her like that, I would discipline her if she is my daughter if she did wrong, but no one else.

However, my mom and Ronnie think other wise , they think they have know who is right and wrong. They seemed like they would not have any further action.

Anyway, the malay youth has a good friend who defended him, retaliating that the he was a good guy and asked everybody to shut f**k up.

I was wondering anybody knew what is the outcome of the actions, if he goes away scot free. The youth today will just get bolder.

How I wish, there is something within my means to stop the violence. The only thing that Singapore could do is to pressure the school.

Anyway, my moral of the story is violence begets violence, let's us wait and see :)

Only 12 and has published a book!!!!

2010-05-07T17:45:00.002+07:00

I am supposed to study, but randomly surfing blogs.

Checked this out, she is only 12 and she has published a book.

Amazed by the maturity of youth these days.

http://mayaganesan.blogspot.com

Sixth sense

2010-05-03T23:26:00.002+07:00

On 20th april, I felt something was wrong, but I dimissed it.

My mom told me to go home, and not leave Ronald at home alone.

I dimissed it.

Now the words kept ringing like echo that doesn't stop.

My condolences, RIP Melissa Toh

2010-05-02T03:50:00.005+07:00

I was abit hesitant to link her blog, which my colleague has found.
I read through her blogspot.

She seemed like any other ordinary person. Her friends placed her artworks on the facebook dedicated to her, in loving memory.

Whatever the reason is, my heart goes out to her.

It is a painful episode for her friends and family. I just hope that youth now, would not follow suit.

Such decisions doesn't makes anything go away.

Taken off her blog

forever
Apr. 20th, 2010 08:52 pm

What have I become? My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end

You could have it all, my empire of dirt.
I will let you down,
I will make you hurt.

If I could start again a million miles away,
I would keep myself,
I would find a way

Such a bright young girl, it's really a waste. sighhh....

Her

2010-04-28T10:14:00.005+07:00

I SAW Her.

At Ikea at all places. I and Ronald were talking. I saw this girl looking at Ronald's work uniform and glance at Ronald's face.

I was bursting with excitement , wanting to probe Ronald immediately.

I was so sure it was her, from the side, and when she looked at me. My head was in a pool of whirl. I think this is even worse than seeing your ex fling or ex bf.

I looked at her, and I wanted to say hullo. We locked eye contact. The sense of hatred and anger wasn't there anymore. All I did was to stand there dumbfounded and wondered what reaction she would have given me.

The next thing I did was try to hurry Ronald out the exit. However, we decided to linger. :)
It's been four years.

Who is the Her? SHe was the good friend whom introduced me to Ronald. Read through my 2005 entries, and you will understand.

Luxury items

2010-04-24T22:05:00.006+07:00

My hunger for luxury items has been on the rise, after this latest addition.

Although, it is a complimentary from Amex after spending $5k (thanks to our wedding dinner),I super liked it .

After coming back from Paris , I had a couple proud additions to my favourite brand.

However, I came to realise that, it feels good to have someone to buy stuff for you. I would want to work hard and buy another one. It gives something to look forward too, some aim. Some sweat and toil and exchange for something you longed for, makes it even more rewarding.

Another thing to think about.

Some colleagues and I had a conversation. They say it's envy that makes someone work hard. I told them I used to envy others, like why they afford and I can't. Then one day, it stopped, I have conquer that fact, I don't entirely envy others at times. But why envy others,when you can make yourself the object of other's envy. If you want, get it , in terms of material pursuit, regardless of how long. People also just don't understand the story behind each person. For example, if the girl sleeps to get what she want.Do you still envy her?

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Anyway, I just felt that you still whine about your life, when you hear stories about other's lives that might not be as fortunate. Do you still bitch about yours? Life get contented when you know your life is so much better than some.

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Me & Ronald are good. I am not pretendious about how is all happy and good, marrige life is. I find it pointless to paint a fake picture. Anyway, me and him still quarrel to the extent, I wanted to draft a lawyer's letter. :)

Other than that, all is good.

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Anyway, it's time to return my mounting debts to my parents. I like to thanked them for forking out part of the dinner cost. To think, my mom keep saying that they have no money... (snigger...)

Anyway, moral of story is to be contented, to work hard for material gains, and also return parent's gratitude , by giving them money. (they seemed contented with that. even they tell you no need, lol)

Wedding part VII - Luxe Rental

2009-12-29T18:17:00.006+07:00

In the midst of choosing the car for our wedding. Mercedes are getting pretty boring as it can be seen at everybody's wedding.

I thought of my favourite car, the AUDI TT COUPE

However, Ronald searched in vain for the car. Apparently, they don't rent it. I think he was googling on renting a car. Finally he made up his mind to rent Porsche Boxster.

Upon, researching further, Ronald found a voucher worth about $688, and the seller is letting go at $300.

I think it was a good bargain. I was initially upset, as I couldn't sit in my Audi TT , but what the hell, I am going to sit a Porsche for a day.

It was a luxury for an average Singaporeans like me. :)

Wedding part VI- Bridal Concept

2009-12-29T18:16:00.002+07:00

Bridal Concept, to tell you the truth, I was abit afraid I may make the wrong choice.

May is my assigned co-ordinator, one thing I like about her that she is frank, she doesn't tell you lies just to want you to get over and done with it.

First round, I think I went in the Aug/ sept period, after Ronald proposal. I had to wear different kind of wedding gowns, even gowns which I never thought that I would wear. This is to give May an idea of what gown suit your body shape. She pretty much have some idea on what suit your body shape by looking you.
Of course, you can let her know, what kind of gown you like and she write it down.

Second round was in sept period, where I was brought alot of gowns to try, the gowns that suit my body shape and together with those designs which I liked. After KIVing a few, because I couldn't make up my mind. I tried a few evening gowns.

The tidious round was the next round was in end Oct and Nov period.
I tried the few gowns, and I finally selected my wedding gown. I been asked a few times for the wedding gown. I just don't feel like telling about the wedding, because, I want it to be a surprise.

I don't everybody to like know what I am going to wear, it kinda spoil all the fun.

After which, it was the evening gown, i tried a few. May told me that there is evening gown, first look, it wasn't nice. However, I will grow to look like it. When I saw the evening gown , i didn't like it at all. I chose another one just in case.

Then I had to shed my limelight, and Ronald's turn to dress up. We were quite lucky, I felt, as the bridal show for them was just over, May showed us the jackets, which I found it pretty unique. To show you what it was like for our wedding jackets and evening gown

I wasn't sure about the evening gown, because it was orange. The next time, when I went down to tried to gowns to make sure it was sewn according to my body measurement. And to choose the evening gown again, it seemed her words were magic, it really felt different.

Without a doubt, I chose that special gown for as the evening gown.

The times that I went down to Bridal concept was countless. The even happened from the period from August 2009 to March 2010.

Anyway, being a good bridal coordinator, she is a good advisor for couples, she speak aloud thoughts of one party and convey to the other party. For example, she tells me, that actually Ronald is stress, he wants to look his best for the wedding and he is conscious of how his body would look. After hearing this, I felt very upset for yelling at Ronald, I was so self-absorbed about making this work. However, I didn't realise he too wants the best for the wedding.

In the first place, I shouldn't havc doubt about our choice with Bridal concept. :)

Did he eventually propose

2009-12-29T18:08:00.006+07:00

One thing about our government .

The process of getting married become like this.
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Girl say to boy: I think we should queue for a HDB flat.

Boy: why?

Girl: Now BTO wait very long.

*BTO is build-to-order

Boy: (Thinking to himself, anyway won't so "heng" one.) We go register for the Bto lor.

Girl: So you indirectly proposing to me????

Boy : No

Girl: What you mean no!

Boy: just kidding lar.. yes yes. ( Thinking to himself, still got long way lar)

------ 5tries --One month later------

Boy : we finally got it.

Girl: Smiled in victory to herself.

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This is the first stage of proposal for most singaporeans.

Or sometimes, even last time for some girls. Some guys can be very blockhead, as they eventually do not proposed.
For me, I can't let him off without proposing properly!! I mean if I am married, there won't be anymore chances.

I am not too sure why, I let my friends get the better of me. I mentioned earlier, that they think there won't be a surprise element. They don't understand and they don't see the bigger picture.
I have to wait a longer time for my house, and I can't wait to get out my place or his place.

And the crucial question was what if he don't proposed. All the while, I was very confident that he would do it without a doubt. The thing is, I do not want to pressure him into proposing, as it will lose its meaning. They were teasing that even he doesn't proposed, I would have gone ahead with the wedding. I told them it is not that case, I will forfeit everything if he doesn't do it properly. However, sometimes they insist, I just get verty irritated. I don't blame them, they just don't know me.

On 15th August 2009, We had a huge row!!!! And I felt hot tears streaming down my face. I wasn't too happy in the beginning. After some hot food and filling stomache I was more or less cool down.

We went to the ferris wheel in Taipei, when we were queueing up, my friend and his girlfriend decided not to go up the same cable as us. I was puzzled, didn't think too much into it.

It was when I was looking and staring out of the cable, suddenly I had this sixth sense, he was going to proposed, I quickly brushed it aside so not to get my hopes too high. The next thing I knew, he held my hand and apologize for this morning quarrel,I was indeed touched. The few seconds made my eyes wet with tears again, this time was happy tears.

HE he ... asked the question: " Will you marry me?"

With the below rings that we got from Couple lab, he tried to put my ring onto my forth finger and try to pass it of as I have readily accepted the proposal.

I squirm out his grasp, because he didn't do the knight and shining armor thing.
As if he knew what I was thinking, he knelt down and try to fit the ring once more.

I shouldn't be affected by what people think, although they did shake my confidence in him.

I think sometimes friends has a warp idea of not letting your friends be happy.

However, you can see that I am a very happy woman indeed. :)

Wedding part V

2009-12-29T18:00:00.002+07:00

Anyway, after sourcing for photographer, we went to see the master to choose our dates. We are not the least bit supersitious, we went to check it out anyway.

And that's how we got the date 13th March 2010. I thought that we too way ahead for preparing our wedding. As he HAVEN't Propose.

I think I kinda slow down in the event.

I think the hurtful things are the friends, the questions what if he don't proposed. I don't even like explaining. I don't see the point. That's why in the initial stages, I didn't want to tell the whole world, but I couldn't control my excitement.

I am/was concerned by the fact if he doesn't. I told myself, this was important, I want know if I meant the whole world to him. I was intending to postpone the wedding if he didn't do anything. I also wanted him to ask my parent for my hand in marriage. I thought to myself that if he doesn't , I wouldn't had a chance after marriage. So I stopped everything.

I think he wanted to make me happy, he brought me Soo Kee Jewellery store to look out nice diamond rings.

Seriously, I think Singapore's diamonds are boring, they come only in solitaire , round brillance. You do not see princess cut diamonds or any other cuts. There was a intention to choose my rings overseas on the internet or go hunt for loose diamonds. Ronald was afraid that the quality of the diamonds are lower end one, and they charged us for exorbitant prices. In my earlier entry, I mentioned that we also had bought a ring earlier at Soo Kee.

Anyway, after spending hours and hours at the Ang Mo Kio branch, we sourced a size 0.78cts , wanted to take a look at it. If you didn't already know, they can search on the internet for the varies sizes, and the location on the diamond.

HERE it is!! 0.78cts, H colour, forgotten the clarity. Ta-da! My diamond is H colour but it doesn't look like one And we compared it to the D and E colour, it doesn't look like a H colour. The clarity wise was not too bad, as I saw one, the inclusion can be seen with the naked eye. The setting is wired- basket setting. Most of the diamonds I saw is on a cathedral setting. Don't bother to find out what kind of setting with SA in Singapore, they have completely no knowledge or simply just tell you it is a classic setting.

Anyway, it was upgraded on the 29th March 2009. From april till August period, I stopped preparing for my wedding.

Wedding part IV- Selecting PG

2009-12-29T13:33:00.004+07:00

After nailing the bridal package. I hunt for a photographer. I always believe in fate. I google for wedding photographer and saw his website and saw a girl blogging about him , using him a photographer as well. At the same time, he also sent me an email, after I put my email on the singapore brides forum. Ronald contacted him and we met him up. I like going with gut instincts, they never seem to fail me.

During the meeting, he was friendly and he showed us his works, and I really think it worth the price.
Do check him out. Marcus Lee

For the ladies, why do I say ladies, normally they are the one who doing most of the work. haha.

If you want to plan your wedding, please plan for your videographer first. The videos of express highlights are not normally host in their website, because of music infringement policy, one song is fined for $8k. Therefore they are harder to find.

Anyway, the first meeting of a photographer and we decided to hire him.. yeahh...

Tips: Freelance may be a risky, so therefore please do not a little research on the photographers whom are you going to used.

Ask what is the spare equipment they are using, who is going to stand in for him if he sick.

Photos will be up, after the whole wedding at http://adelynnoei.multiply.com/

I still constructing on the website. :)

Wedding part III- Bridal Studio

2009-12-28T12:42:00.014+07:00

We previously been applying for a few flats, I think it was time for to sign the agreement. On the 16 Jan 09, we signed the contract for our house.

I mean, I don't know how to tell you, but I knew what I want, and it has to be such arrangement.
I mean I have girlfriend, who may think whose boyfriend haven't propose yet, does want to even apply. I mean do understand, it boils down to what you want. Because right now, I am feeling secured that I have a house coming up. And I do not have to wait so long than those who are getting married and try to apply for hdb. There are many couples who also apply for hdb and then proposed.

I can tell you that I was pretty affected by what my friends said, because I thought, they would just congratulate you and feel happy for you, FULL STOP. But I didn't realise they have so much thoughts to add. Maybe, I should take it with a pinch of salt. Because after pondering over it, there wasn't much to regret and I do the same thing all over again, if I have a choice.

Next was going to get a bridal package, we was looking for a bridal studio, we went for the wedding fair at Clarke Quay.

Gauging from my friend's wedding, We needed about 60 photos, we bargained for more photo poses.

Just a hint for those who getting a bridal package, if you think that you will stick to the number of photos you got in the package. FAT HOPE..

ALL the photos are PRETTY...... You WILL want them all!!!!! Ok, maybe not all, just almost all?

So,maybe you can try to negotiate for a package for at least 40 photos. The way I look at it, 60 photos look sufficient for a photo album. GUess how much I got?? the magic was 80.....

I will blogged more about it later. Do check them out. BRIDAL CONCEPT

We took a while to negotiate with them about what freebies I want. It really depends on your negotiating skills, if you are someone who is ok ok ok.. Then really good luck to you.

I am lucky to have a hubby-to-be who is very good at doing what he does best, negotiating. haha. I think we got a rather good package.

And if you do have friends who used Bridal Concept, asked them to refer you & your partner to Bridal Concept, I think you got another two poses free :)

Other tips, I can't really say, if not boss will kill me hahaaha...

Next stop was sourcing photography.

Wedding part II

2009-12-28T12:22:00.006+07:00

Why was it first/second thing done? I doing research for my ring, the designs that I want. I rather I told him the kind of ring that I want. I do not want him buying a expensive ring and it's not what I want. The design that I wanted is not found in Singapore, wanted to get a custom-made ring, but was afraid that the diamond might not be authentic. I wanted a loose diamond, and custom-made into the setting I want.

Diamond quality is affected by the size, clarity, colour grade & cutting, the setting plays a part too. I am not someone for settle for less, but I don't know about you. I want my diamond big as possibly could get. Actually, if Ronald could afford a o.9 cts diamond ring, why not man. After doing some research, Ronald brought me into a jewellery shop to get a clearer picture. There was a promotion going, and it could be upgraded into two years, so I got my first 0.31 cts diamond ring. I think it was simple like that made me happy.

This was done in Nov/Dec 2008 period.
I mean it was a diamond ring, it made my day.

I was pretty mad about Ronald about something. so I told him about the three times proposal.
It was more to get even with him, I guess. But I told him, it wasn't done properly, I wouldn't accept it.

You see, I may be a rational person, and logical one, I secure the wedding location before the proposal. People starting asking me where is the surprise element. I guess I think differently from the other girls. I wanted the everything to be in place for the wedding. The surprise element is how he does it lor. And I seriously don't know when it was going to happen.

Wedding- Banquet location

2009-12-28T07:32:00.018+07:00

I am taking the liberty of coming to work early, to blog about the entire wedding. I mean, if I have the time. I f my boss don't report so early.

I just started my job here, and I already feel like giving up my studies, because of what the effort of my hard work can reward me. However, I am down to my final year.

It's about the money that I spent on my studies to obtain the degree. I think it's more about my persistence and determination to complete what I started.

Anyway, we all do know that I been preparing for my wedding for the past year. I kinda regret telling people about my wedding in the early beginning. I mean it's quite normal for people to ask the questions. And I began to feel very irritated, as I repeated my answers a thousand times. The enthusiasm of preparation seem to die down after repeating for a gizillion times. Worse, do ever felt that you have to explain the whole wedding affair of why you do this and that to your friends??? I felt sick.

Tang court Restuarant

I mean, an ideal location of a bride varies,what may felt like a ideal location to one , might a disaster location to another. I have no idea why I explained too, maybe , I wanted people to know it is a good location, the funny thing is when the more I explained, the more I don't believe what I believed what I said is true.

I mean, I never ever thought about RELC hotel, Tang courts as a location before. Ronald was doing some random research of the location, I was blown away by the decoraton on the website, so we decided to take a look at the decorations of the whole restaurant during someone's actual day. I was looking around, the buidling surrounded by the greenery, low ceiling , cozy, max 35 tables, decoration was not too bad. 4 projectors, music was loud enough. Food reviews were good. Ample carpark lots, compared to all hotels which provide carpark coupons for a certain percentage of the attendance.

Harry was a good co-ordinator, this also put my mind at ease. Most restaurants doesn't have a changing room for the bride, which prove to be quite difficult. A hotel room provided for me and Ronald to change. We didn't have to book and pay another sum for the nearest hotel room and walk over, the hotel room is included in the package. Shuttle bus is provided for those who don't drive. I took all these into consideration, complaints are bound to happen, but what else can my guests complain about? I want my guests to be happy too.

At the point of time, my gut feeling was telling to take it. I followed my instincts.
So I guess, I was quite grumpy when people start question my choice. In the first place, it is not for them to question, but of playing a supportive role.

This was actually one of first/second thing done for wedding preparation.
This was done beginning of the year. Jan 2009

2009-12-27T03:09:00.002+07:00

Dear Diary,

I getting increasing fustrated with her. Well, she does have her sweet moments.

I am not washing all the dirty linen in the public.

Frankly, after sayin this to her, that I want to have my space with Ronnie for at least the two years. She got all hysterical and told me that I am selfish and I should ask my parents. For mom, and a few others, adviced me that it would be better not to live with your "monster-in-law"

Personally, after making statement not housing with her for the first two years. I think it through, but still I sticking to my stand, I don't see anything wrong with not.

I try to stand in her shoes and look at her perspective, I know she was insecure and afraid. However, I still see options for her. And I didn't want her taking for granted that she could stay. If she stay, she will really sticked.

I just want to breathe.

I just don't like she protray her sons like that.

Well, maybe she can wake up ....

haiz

2009-11-23T00:57:00.002+07:00

Maybe, if I flushed out my set of insecurities, you may understand me better.
I think people just has different problems.
To tell you the truth, I cried over my skinny, lanky and flat chested body before.
But what the hell, I learn to embrace it, only sometimes, I still winced , if someone commented abt it.

Me being sensitive, will give a defensive mode.

I took a long bumpy boat ride, yes with Ronnie in it.
After so long, then the end result, I want to be with Ronnie.

At least, I know, I feel with peace with myself.

signing out:Ade

Wedding Post: The Break up

2009-11-04T03:15:00.000+07:00

Maybe all things cracked under pressure, including relationships.

The more I am with him, we quarrelled.

Expectations in a long termed relationship conjured a nasty brew.

I found out that distractions weren't the best way to go. If you think that what you want to find from your loved one, can be found from someone else.

It is a terrible to find out in the end, truth hurts.
Because, maybe, it has been time to move on.

I took alot of time to reflect on our relationship.

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We quarrelled, I think the wedding take a toil on our relationship.
For my part, I was extremely worried, if I made the right choices, did I marry because it was habit.

The world doesn't believe in love anymore, because of cheatings and because the liberal society.
Couples go through divorces easier than previous times.

I thought it was it. All those wedding plans were thrown down the drain.

...................

2009-10-26T01:40:00.002+07:00

It's easy to judge someone else, even as a friend.
The one that suffers most, is the one whom doesn't know what they want.

I didn't , and I am suffering the consequences for it.
Because I thought I knew, but it felt too late, and it went away.

I think it's gone.
What I was afraid came true.
This hit me. I wanted it bad, but I couldn't get it.
It hit me.
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2009-10-25T13:41:00.002+07:00

We can go around choosing what we want.
I said what I want.

Dear friends, thank you for listening to me all these while. The craps and nonsense, for loving me.

For all the trials , I am sorry God. DOn't seem to work it out between us.

I am going to hell for sure.

Thank u mommy, daddy. little bro.. Always been wanting say this. I reallie love u all..
IT hurts, when I am not around u. It hurts when I defy u, it hurts when I am not filial.
Sorry to make u spend wasted money on me.

I reallie reallie love Ronnie.

I think my life was a waste.

I keep doing the wrong things. Life is worthless if I have go through alone.

I know I was a soldier, I keep marching forward and get back on my feet no matter how much obstacles they were.

I was a soldier, in past tense. I can't do it anymore.

I crumble. And I really need him by my side. I didn't know how to get through to him. I need him to rescue me.
Instead, I got shot.

So Dear friends, please take care of urself....

Bye for now.. love Ade

Carebears CAREBEARS

2009-09-28T00:13:00.002+07:00

I am not too sure why Ronnie, didn't purchase those cutie little carebears.
And I was sulking all the way back.
I was trying to be a good girl, trying not to threw tantrums at him, at the slightest mistakes he does.
I guess, 'that' comes together in a long-term relationship, 'that' meaning expectations. I didn't understand why didn't he just buy that to humour me. I really like carebears for that matter.

And it scary about 'expectations' , that I knew what is expected of his behaviour and if I don't do this, or I do it, not to piss him off. And sometimes, the more I try to prevent a quarrel, leaves me in upheaval state of mind & behaviour. It is the expectations on Ronnie's side too, which result in the quarrel. And the quarrel leads violent destruction of skin tearing and bruising.

Nothing to worry about, in even a fight, I know when know not to provoke him further which lead to him being physical violent. And he wouldn't abuse me in that way, because I trust him with my whole heart. However, it struck me that even for Ronnie, or any good & decent guy would actually become violent even when pushed the brim.

But expectations will keep you on your toe, to become a better person, too.
I know I have a bad temper, for Ronnie's sake, I will change.

And what did I tell you about expectations? I was waiting for my carebears the next day.
Viola!!!! TWO CAREBears!!!!! hahaha
:)

:)

2009-08-23T11:01:00.003+07:00

Dear Diary,

Guess what was 15th Aug 2009?

It was our monthly anniversary, I was all smiles about it.

I do not know why, I think God provide girls' sixth sense.

I wasn't looking forward to riding the Ferris Wheel in Taiwan.

However, when it was Ferris wheel was reaching its peak.

I was pondering will he pop the question; and i decide to brush it off. ( sixth sense )

The next thing, I know he took my hand and apologize for arguing this morning.

And he popped the question. I was momentarily speechless for a while.

I was pretty much brimming with tears; but realize something, no knees!!!!

Then I refused to let him put the ring on my finger until he kneeled down.

(I know the space was very crammed. but ....)

At this point, I smiling smilng smiling..

Ade burst into song : " I can't smile without you........ I just can't smile without you"

hmmm

2009-07-11T13:27:00.002+07:00

I seriously do not know where to release right now...

trickle trickle trickle..

ahhhhh.....

that' so much better

sighhhhh

2009-06-12T09:30:00.002+07:00

Kate Spades, Louis Vuitton

The world is catching up..as I always thought.

Not mocking, just happy ,

"welcome to my world.. "

hehehhee

Sprained toe.

2009-05-04T23:41:00.002+07:00

Tired Ade just wanted to rest for a while.

Awaken with anxiety that she slept for too long.

Wanted not to waste another second longer.

Placed her foot down, toes first.

Her leg buckle without warning,

and she couldn't control, she couldn't feel her leg.

her fourth toe and little toe was bent all the way.

Just when she thought her tolerance of pain is good.

The pain was unbearable as she refused to move.

Have to carried by Ronnie.

After so many years, she was able to be sincerely moved when he took the pail of ice

and try to place on her little toe which was in acute pain.

He didn't notice, but she was watching his every move.

She felt her eyes alittle wet.

She knows that it was the right decision.

Never regret one bit.

I thanked God for you.

Quick updates

2009-04-12T00:02:00.003+07:00

I can't slp, neither can I study.

I am so sick of studying.

I got $500 plus 0.09cts rosella diamond studs on my ear :)

I kept thinking it was $300, until he showed me the bill again.

And it's a bit stressful, but I was always afraid of losing it.

I got because Ronnie thought he has to get 4 type of white gold as dowry

Well, wifes-to-be, just mentioned that about the dowry thing,

and just forget to mention it's for teo chew only.

OK. I definitely bragging.

but but but once in a while lar.

------------------------------------------------

Ronnie went to City Harvest. So Hip hor.

I was kind of overjoyed when he went for another service, this time without me

But joy was short-lived, when he keep mentioning he will not convert.

It just a long journey.

--------------------------------------------------------

My theory is it takes one to forget one.

Let's us be gracious in the meantime, just hope the another party is happy.

----------------------------------------------------

I was very touched by the fact, that some guy offered me umbrella.

It was a heavy rain lar, and I prepared to get drenched,

because I didn't want to wait for the rain to stop.

Somehow, I am not too sure why, I had this feeling,

the guy will offer me, his umbrella, ella, ella, ella. ehhhh. ehhh

He ran up to me, because I heard the plattering of his feet.

And he smiled ;) when i said thnks

I tell u it kinda warmth my hearth for 25 seconds, till we reached the bus stop,

I walked away, I do not want to create a conversation.

And he tried to make a last attempt by offering to drop me off at my place.

Ade start imagining, she has to create conversation.

Then the exchange of numbers.. blah blah.

'I have a straight bus home. ' Ade told him

He left with that weird expression on his face.

Anyway, I was being offered umbrella for a second time, when I wanted to cross to my block.

And indian uncle this time.

Really, this people, is what make the world goes round with :)

So good deeds beget good deeds,

Ade will offer her umbrella to the next good looking guy.

hahahahaha.

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Church

2009-03-11T01:33:00.004+07:00

Recently, Ronald went to church with me. (once)

I know that he kind of dread the anticipation of the whole thing.

In fact, I think he knows I can be lazy at times,

he hope that, I shut the alarm clock and go back to slp.

In fact, i wanted too.

Mentally willed myself to bath,

gently nudged him.

So when Christina asked me this question "WHY?"

I have absolutely no idea.

So I asked him on msn

Ade: "why did you go to church?"

R: " Because of you"

Ade felt trillions of love bolts zingered at her tip of her brain.

R: "because of you" ( he repeated )

Without a beat of a pause.

He continued

R: " Keep nagging"

R: " Si bi ma fan " ( very troublesome )

Ade : ..........

Nagging is typical display of affection shown by woman to man - Christina Ang

well well, let's keep the nagging alive !!!!!

2009-03-09T15:15:00.005+07:00

Gone are the days of my youth youth.

Well, I am still in my youth.

I suddenly have the sudden urge to cry.

I listening to this song.

My school band ever played this before.

Global Healthcare Congress

2009-03-01T15:56:00.006+07:00

This logo is done by me. Just so u know, because people always ask me what I do, this is one of it

I was supered hyped when I had a chance to go down to Global Healthcare Congress'o9

I mean, working in any industry, you should how the industry run.

I thought I was just needed to go and help in any way possible.

But I realised I should read up more.

I feel so empty ( brain is emptied ) when handling this people.

And it so happened that when even answering certian questions, my HR director was telling me how to answer in a more professional manner.

Well, I am glad they hired me before they know about my flaws..

Back to the Congress, I was pretty awed by the presence of the CEOs.

I mean, I always have this mentality that they are stucked up. With their PA sticking to them.

But in fact, I was warmed by their presence, even the slightest thing like greetings and asking me how I am, make me realised they are very humble beings.

And did do you know, Mr G** our Senior Minister 's son was present as well.

Maybe, I shouldn't refer him as his Son,

As he himself has a substantial creditbility.

My colleague have to point it out to me who he is, before I knew.

He is ..... tall , possess hmmm charisma.

and more importantly very humble.

And "fashionably late". lol

Strait Times Journalist was there, I mean u always read about their article, but u can't put a face to it.

So, it has been a eye-opener for me.

I have been running up and down the Hyatt hotel, running task for them.

I twist my fingers , that my company recognize my efforts.

I always had believe that efforts will be recognize , as long as u put it in.

Now, I think must wa-yang abit, to really let them see at times. lol

But I think they know lar , huh??

By the way, Hyatt's food and coffee, the machine brewed one, super good lar. I had three cups, one day.

2009-02-06T23:51:00.006+07:00

I told God today,

no matter how BIG

PIMPLE is,

I will rid of it.

With his help , of course

Amen

Naked

2009-02-04T00:31:00.005+07:00

Ade is a very contradicting person. The fact that she had considered herself liberal.
The another time, She ever thought of doing a nude shot of herself and who-ever who will be her future husband.
But of course, artistically covered.

However, the thoughts of it irked her now. Not too sure why.
The older she grow, the more conversative she become.
It doesn't really applies to clothes that she is wearing though, she wear whatever she feel comfortable in.

We seen Tammy, we seen Faith Ong, We seen Sun Tan. ( You mean you have not seen.)( Ade runs away in embarrassment.)

Ade wished she can understand the motive behind it. The todays youth scare her of liberal ,auducious acts.
How to protect her kid next time.

I mean being comfortable in your body is one thing, but the day Eve took the apple, we feeled ashamed our naked selves.

And some people like Ade took a couple decades to love her body. Some just simple parade theirs.

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Let's compared : Naked couple at Holland V

and this article http://www.indiatime.com/2008/10/15/yet-another-indian-woman-is-paraded-naked/

The above article is the idea of punishing the lady by humiliating her ,by stripping her naked and paraded her in front of the whole village.

So being naked is a form of punishment or a form of exhibitionist?

You be the judge.

Farmers' cries

2009-01-22T15:59:00.003+07:00

In my recent research,

I came across,

weird cases.

Just like to highlight.

The life of the underdeveloped countries.

That we should feel fortunate that we are living in Singapore.

I am not too sure what to do help these people.

I only highlight their situation.

Read:

Famers' cries!

2009-01-03T02:08:00.002+07:00

Singapore Crime drugs

2009-01-02T03:59:00.002+07:00

hmm...

As friends, I feel that there is fate.

I grabble at straws's end.

One moment one attitude,

the next moment, ignorance.

Dont' tell me that it' the booze talking.

because, I don't think I can accept that.

I really dont' know what to make out of it.

I hope I sensitive.

2008-12-30T01:08:00.003+07:00

I am not too sure about what kind of mood ,
I am in.

For some reasons, I kept reviewing the past.

I am surprised by own attitude.

Can be a bitch at times.

Sometimes, I am real or a hyprocrite.

And and and, with all those weddings coming up.

I am so in the mood of doing my own planning.

Like the plans an stuff.

Consolidating ideas.

I keep smiling at him recently.

It feels like raining on me with sincerity.

I don't know how to explain this feeling.

Happy , smile.

Why I love him?

He makes me smile to this very day.

But marriage is a lifetime thing.

I was never a fan of commitment.

Living the way, I do.

I am, well really scare.

Well, it's not the the day is near anytime

But .......

I am really in the mood for Jesus today lar.

Singing along.

Just a note for Him. ( not him , it's HIM)

I am sorry, I haven't been to church.

When I state the reasons.

it sounds so lame.

But I haven't forgotten you. :)

Love you still.

Part of the reason,

I love Ronnie.

He is the reason, I went back to church.

Mummy ever said that "We only go back , when we need him"

Well, that was my moment.

Saying that, I haven't grown, you must be blind lor

I came a long way.

I like the idea, of using both hands to build the house of dreams

And you know what's the ironic thing.

I been thinking.

It wasn't for Jia Miao,

I wouldn't be with him.

It wasn't for Jack,
I wouldn' be with him.

Wasn't for the strength, I found from Christ, to break up with Jack,

I wouldn't be with him.

Thank you Jesus, Amen.

Unsure

2008-12-25T14:28:00.004+07:00

I am not too sure why I am so hooked into Ronnie.

Like both like to play the game we know so well.

And I always feel I am losing.

But these huge decisions.

I am not ready to lose.

Because it is not a game.

And if you are to carry on what you do,

I feel I am pulling further away.

I would like to say "Thank you " for the wonderful times.

I did appreciate what y0u have done.

The reason why I love you, because you always believe in me.

But I am not too sure about that anymore.

Under appreciated.

Because u make me feel like Uncle Sidder in Bedtime stories.

So you have to prove ur worthy to me.

I am watching your every move.

SO u better step it up.

Because, the yes might turn no anytime.

The money means nothing to me.

2008-12-19T00:59:00.003+07:00

I wouldn't say my life is picture perfect.

The truth is, after pple condemn my relationship.

I start to wonder, do I really have to share the good side,

for them to know, there is both sides of the coins.

Then, I started sharing less of him and Me

Honestly, there are good times and the bad.

I never once sit from the side, and never say thank you for sending me to work.

Maybe,thank you for giving me the best birthday present.

The sending of blue roses to my office, and the card that state:

" To Wife-to-be"

Happy 25th birthday! muacks!

love: "Husband-to-be"

Those statement enough, was to keep me gushing throughout the day.

But I dunno why I kept quarrelling these days.

And it also started, because of those girls.

You may have your doubts, but I am not jealous.

I just feel the little invisible part.

If there is nothing to hide like he says, which I knew.

Why wouldn't he let him meet them?

I am capable of making friends.

And at least, I wouldn't be so angry.

I never once want to stop him from meeting his friends.

Because, I do meet my guy friends once in a while.

I like the freedom that I have, dancing with strangers.

I just don't wan to feel that invisible.

I am worried, because, I am going to sign something impt.

And the thing, the more realistic it becomes,

the more I am getting the jittery bugs.

But something, does tell me it's not right

I dunno I dunno

2008-12-08T16:42:00.008+07:00

Every Little Thing - Dishwalla

Song Lyrics

2008-11-10T01:00:00.002+07:00

I have to admit something that i have in my heart for quite a while.
I think it would be best if the questions of marriage should be avoided for the time being.
I don't think I am ready at this stage.
Not that I don't love him or what so ever.
I just don't like the restriction and calculation and leading to lack of element of surpise.
I think I am being narrow minded at this.
But, I really don't know and don't want to know.
I do appreciate the concerns.
I am just not ready.
Yes it is full commitment, and I do not know I am game for it.
-------------------------------------------------------
But the answer is yes. :)
No prize for guessing there.

2008-10-10T11:59:00.003+07:00

I seriously think I am alittle morbic or sadist.

I can take it, seeing the gory stuff

The chopped, bloody, gory , grinded body parts doesn't make me wanna puke.

----------------------------------------------------

It was better to play the ignorance field.

Than to had it ur face.

Now, I have to take greater than arm's length,

to stay away.

------------------------------------------------------------

By the way, If the say looks doesn't matter.

Think again.

I just read an article that say,

Good looking people are paid more.

So much for inner beauty.

----------------------------------------------------

At least, for now,

I know what I want.

-------------------------------------------------

2008-10-01T00:15:00.001+07:00

I blogging while Ronald is on the internet. hmmm I am freaking bored.

2008-09-24T23:12:00.006+07:00

You Have Your Sarcastic Moments

While you're not sarcastic at all times, you definitely have a cynical edge.

In your opinion, not all people are annoying. Some are dead!

And although you do have your genuine moments, you can't help getting your zingers in.

Some people might be a little hurt by your sarcasm, but it's more likely they think you're hilarious.

How Sarcastic Are You?

What Your Ideal Wedding Dress Says About You

Your Personal Style:

Classic and elegant. You prefer to make a statement with a few quality pieces.

Your Ideal Wedding:

Traditional and formal, but not tacky. You think the most beautiful weddings are understated.

Your Philosophy on Marriage:

It's a serious commitment, and the couple entering it should be ready to work for their relationship.

Your Perfect Marriage:

Is calm, stable, deep, and meaningful.

The Wedding Dress Test

What Your Taste in Chocolate Says About You

You are sophisticated, modern, and high class.

Your taste is refined, but you are not picky.

You are often the first to try something new.

You are energetic and quick to act.

You are open minded, and you easily adopt new social causes.

While your heart is in the right place, you often can't follow through with your dreams.

You love to be in love. You crave romance, whether you're single or not.

You feel lost when you don't feel passion... you need someone to adore.

The Chocolate Oracle

What Your Pink Umbrella Says About You

When faced with adversity, you respond with compassion.

Even if someone is making life difficult for you, you can't help but see things from their perspective.

You are emotionally in tune, and you are very sensitive to those around you.

You are able to give to those who need it most, even if they are difficult to deal with.

On a rainy day: you should offer to help someone who needs you

The Umbrella Test

You Are Picky When it Counts

Like most sane women, you want a great guy who will treat you well.

But you're also willing to put up with a few flaws in your Mr. Right

You should congratulate yourself on having a realistic approach to dating.

You probably have quite a few great guys you can date!

Are You Too Picky When It Comes To Men?

2008-09-17T00:49:00.002+07:00

I am just so tired.

I just wanna run away.

I am withdrawing

--------------------------------

God says in his time.

--------------------------

2008-09-15T21:25:00.004+07:00

I am 3 kg fatter..

Woo hoo..

But seriously, I don't know which part of my body is bigger.

Except my face...

My eyes got bigger somehow, butI think it's the magic of make up

------------------------------------------

Non,

Il est enterré seulement 2 pieds de profondeur.

----------------------------------------------------

2008-09-07T23:03:00.003+07:00

I can't believed it.

I can't believe it.

I can't grapple at the complexity of diversity of human beings.

-----------------------------------

Don't sit your butt pretty.

---------------------------------

I might always not get it.

ButI am not quitter.

------------------------

Can't believe if someone thinks if I can't do it.

THe person don't seem much better.

------------------------------

I am upset.

But life goe on.

ANd soon, I'll be up and running.

2008-08-28T02:11:00.003+07:00

I feel fearful.
It's the month when I hate myself again.
Pushed it at the back of my head, when the emotions rained,
arranging the tissues on my face to a frowm.
I smelled scent that came from flower.

But, I didn't thnk much of it.

Then there was personal encounters of my colleagues.

And I thought I have the heart for it.

I freaked out.

There was this girl who was a chirst Follower who ended up being possessed.

I was upset, and I asked "why"

Nobody can answered.

So that day, I ended up having to go home alone and there was the scent again.

Well, it is the 7th month.

I stood out the taxi, I smelled it.

I looked everywhere for a sign of the flower.

But I don't see it.

I even went up to the nearest flower to smell if it was coming from there.

The worst thing, I thought I was safe at home.

But the scent was lingering at my window.

I as so started praying, hard.

The presence of God which I often experience, was the a sense of peace,

and some chill-like feel at the ankle and then the whole body,

and I feel a sudden rush of overwhelmingness.

The presence lingered over the eerie-chill like feeling.

And I could feel both of such "feelings" for few seconds.

And presence of God left. The smell was gone.

Well, if you think it's all pschyology. I tried sniffing at the window for a while.

But it wasn't there.

------------------------------------------------------

By the way, sometimes, it was just more than your attention I required.

Sometimes, I forgot, it was your presence and effort to do things for me.

That give me the sense of being loved.

-----------------------------------------------------------

I should stopped being a whiny bitch, and appreciate more my life.

But, I am not complaining.

It's just that the there is certain day, you wake feeling ugly,

and everything after that feels ugly.

-------------------------------------------------

And here is the deal.

I am not some friend who knows if there is not right between us.

And I will not talk about it.

I can't do it without setting it straight.

And if things are not trashed out, it was never right between us.

There was always be shadow of a doubt.

Don't expect me to tell pple things, if pple are unwilling to share things.

I have no obligations or what or ever, to say something that I know or do not know.

------------------------------------------------

2008-08-11T06:29:00.004+07:00

A new place recommended, or rather old it been there for a while.

A day at cookie Museum (my goodness, i forgot how to spell museum, goes to show it is ancient..haha)(fine, not funny)

SHar & CHer:"Hmm, Everything looks good on the menu. "

GH: "I shall just sit back and relax, while the gals do the choosing."

Say :" Cookie"

Took a while to update huh.. sorry lar.. More coming ur way...

2008-07-14T06:33:00.002+07:00

I want good music,

booze

Wala-wala

Date me on Wed?

I to release my pent-up anger

In good music.

2008-07-14T05:19:00.002+07:00

It was picture perfect.

Then, it was far from the truth.

I got turned off,

Turn off about myself too.

I want nothing more to do with that.

------------------------------------

I am out of sorts lately.

It is not because Ronnie's not around.

It began even before that.

It was work pressure,

Then not feeling appreciated,

Then there was school and exams.

Then there was partial anger with Ronnie.

(don't even ask what? )

So anger + booze = no good (haha)

-----------------------------------

But Good KTV cleanses the soul

But I didn't had enough.

---------------------------------

Back to church,

Feel wonderful.

I was just telling God,

How do I know it's you talking to me.
Pls give a signal. I badly need one.

And *poofs*

The preach was about this guy in the Bible call Giddeon,

having the same problem.

And God has to reassure him five times.

No way!

I don't think that is just a coincidence.

Thank God anyway. You made me smile.

Anyway, I tide (after pending for so long)

Tiding, is giving 10 % of your salary to God.

And yar, it's before CPF. (lol)

The stereotypes about church-goers, is they are nerds, conservative.

If you have such concept, it's just wrong.

I see cute guys here and there and rich kids, tsk tsk.

Hey, I am all for God here. Soley for the purpose of him.

(And the more I explained, it becomes more sloppishly)

---------------------------------------

Once again,

I need unpicture-perfect

I need a chance.

For reality to set in.

---------------------------------------

2008-07-10T00:47:00.000+07:00

I am feeling lonely.

full stop

2008-07-09T06:28:00.002+07:00

I need a break.

I worked my way up,

I know what I want in life,

The ambitious little me cannot stop,

But the factors of the environment threw me into the bottomless pit.

-------------------------------------

I don't take money into consideration if I have it,

But who doesn't want more.

The love of brands make me materialistic (actually only one brand)

it's irony, because I always has a disdain for such ladies.

I declare I am not,

but who gives the $%^&*(

So maybe I am.

------------------------------------

I am probably one angry woman now,

pardon the language.

what's wrong, God,

Everything, I want seems to fall into place.

But what is missing?

By the way, I haven't forgotten about you.

-----------------------------------

Had a conversation with old pal today,

The distance was drawn between us.

But when we caught up,

I think we think the same about man,

The label "b"

They fall in and out of love, so easily.

But isn't that relate to me,

the one who get attracted to someone easily.

But to fall deeper with someone, it really take a one.

----------------------------------------

you know what i need,

a break.

who wants clubbing?

2008-06-18T05:42:00.002+07:00

The road is long, even though it was just a short distance.

I wasn't close to Ah Gong, but I remembered him as someone,

who always watered the plants in the backyard

Regrets come I realize, I didn't get to see him for the last time.

There was a peaceful look on face,

finally no more suffering.

The cremeation was slight too much to bear.

But after all that been done,

I really hope, he rest in peace.

2008-06-09T05:32:00.002+07:00

Dear Diary,

I pretty pissed with my mom keep on chasing me to be ready, as today the day we all dread.

I totally understand how she feels, but she is pissing me off.

today is the day, we cremate the body.

I dread today.

2008-05-01T15:55:00.005+07:00

Recently, i watched some programme with regards of bear farms in China

Black bears are wanted because of the bile from their gall bladder are used for tradition medicine.

And the more horrible thing, China govt allows the selling of such legally, as it provide source of income.

(Bear - Bile Farming - 02) These Asian black moon bears suffer physically and mentally. This moon bear exhibits stereotypical motion by swaying his or her head back and forth. The tight confinement causes them to go crazy.

There is one clip I had watched, which the bear has been rescued, but because it has been in the cage for 20 over years, it doesn't realise it out from its cage.Therefore, it still goes one step forth and one step back in a trance, thinking it is still in the cage.

(Bear - Bile Farming - 07) A rubber pipe was connected to a fluid bag inside a metal box, which was attached to a metal jacket that held the box in place under the bear's abdomen. The bile drained through the rubber pipe into the protected fluid bag and was emptied approximately every 2 weeks by the farmer.

Cruelty of the human beings is really beyong our comprehension.

Help the bears today,

wohooo

2007-09-08T20:40:00.001+07:00

I am sure I am missed. Yes, I haven't been reading everybody's blog.My life is u have to ask me ah.For today, I am making it transparent.

HOw time flies. It came to a certain extent, I did not want to talk about it. I didn't want to speak about it. And people ask, I told one versions after another, just to brush them off.

Not that I told lies, just different varieties of truths. haha.

The only person whom I have aliasing with was Sharon and I told some to God.

THanks Sharon for being there. haha. Yes, Chris, I remember you were there too, thanks. haha

But, somewhat I felt I have changed. I am not too sure is for the better.

The feeling whereby, I dun care how pple sees me, I tell myself I am pretty. The fact that I am. (wahaha...)

I am wun be put down by anybody, because, I know that I am can achieve if I want too,

but for me, it takes a longer period than pple. I need affirmation on my back, you know.

Ade pats on Ade' back.

Maybe, I am not so good at academic but I love working. I feel that I am in power. Earning power, Spending power, investing power. I go through interviews with breeze, as I make impromptu answers that became a template for myself.

Like I say, I making my thoughts and life transparent.

I feel that I am no longer the useless person where I can't do anything.

And I feel I can do it. And I love the challenges of work, but not really academically.

I used to feel upset, when I lost my friendship with Jiamiao, though she hurt me and things like that. The way, she always write about some friends are here, although losing some. The way, she write about herself so victimised. I used to be angry and feel like telling the whole world, it wasn't like that. But, like Ronnie say, it would have stoop to her level.

HOwever, i put myself in her perspective and I wouldn't think I would be happy, but I could and have done better. Then I told God, I decided to forigive her. So, now, no matter how she pens to her advantage, it doesn't affects me at all... And i do feel happier with no grudge

To tell you the truth, I am glad she found her happiness. The way, I was happy for Alex when he was someone he likes.

I would be happy for Jack , if he married the one he loved.

But for JAck, I am not done totally healing my hurt yet.

BUt I making a mental list of whom hurt me before. The funny thing, they dun matter anymore.

Because, I am doing well and living a life which not bad ah. So there.

Part two on next entry.

2007-08-13T19:58:00.000+07:00

A day with Sharon makes me happy.

I have abandoned God for a while.

I hope He haven't given up on me.

Life has to change.

It just has to.

2007-08-09T17:44:00.000+07:00

I went to Timbre last night.

Somehow, I don't really enjoy myself , as much as that time at Wala Wala

Timbre is outdoor perfomances.

And have two bands rotating one set after the another.

Looking at the website, it looks very bright and somewhat class.

And it did look alittle indoors to me.

So, I wasn't prepared,

We sat in the middle section , which is the lowest seated area.

Meaning that the two sections were on concrete platforms.

The lightings weren't as bright as the one we saw the picture.

It was pretty dim but bright enough for us, because, we sat near the bar top.

Where it was lited brightly.

New Blues and E.I.C were up.

New Blues, as the name suggested they sung the blues,

the upbeated version.

But, I didn't know how to enjoy this kind of genre of music.

The sound system and platform stage were defintely much better then Wala's

However, maybe, it was outdoors.

The music wasn't kept in the room. I couldn't submerged myself into the music.

I didn't feel the spontaneous effect from the crowd as well.

Prices for happy hours for the drinks were worth it.

There are daily promtions

Wed, were 45 bucks for bucket of 5 of Heineken

10 dollar nett for fruit champagne. (Haven't include GST mah.. den how to nett)

Music? I prefer E.I.C at Wala Wala.

It's individual preferences. I guess?

ciao

2007-08-04T19:01:00.000+07:00

I pretty much left stranded.

With my bf, telling me that he picked me up at probably 7pm

Now, it's 8pm.

Great!

Fri was a good day,

it started with my colleagues celebrating my leaving with call-and ordered KFC

We humans have many reasons to celebrate, don't we?

And I was on my way to meet Sharon,

This guy, started a conversation with me:

It goes:

HE: " You worked in Biopolis?"

(Cut short)

HE: Are you a researcher?

Ade laughed: " no"

HE: " Are you an admin?"

Ade :" Yar!" ( pretty impressed)( But he abit stereotype right???)

(Whatever)

---------------------------------------

I managed to find out where his working too.

-------------------------------

It was to Wala Wala after TCC.

E.I.C rocks, i agree with SHaron.

I was just mesmerized by their voices.

--------------------------

Especially, the closing.

haha, SHaron, i doing my the video version,

enjoy.

2007-08-01T20:31:00.000+07:00

Misery spelt the word.

Not him though,

With someone closer in blood.

My heart ache.

Pray for me.

2007-07-22T21:06:00.000+07:00

I lived my life,

weighing my words when I am with people,

constantly on alert, antennane quivering to pick up moods.

Maybe, it got me fustrated,

that I feel that I speaking words with venom.

Not to spike,

but in words of anger.

I am getting afraid of myself

and what I might become,

The transition fades away and changed into

something scary.

The truth were they never were truth,

said without blinking of the eyes,

I need to protect myself.

2007-07-10T23:36:00.000+07:00

This whole issue have blown out of proportion.

I am just not too sure anymore.

Not dwelling into the matter,

Just wanna get it out.

Maybe sometimes, not knowing is the best.

When we talk about honesty.

To be honest, Are all of us being honest?

sighhhhh..............

Adelynn's world

Sour

Singapore Kindness Movement

World Kindness Day -13 nov

FRIGHT NIGHT

Singapore Chicken Recipe

INSECURE

Bonding

New Home

ConfessionS

Ranting about Works

Trying

Emoing

You

Moments of regrets

My ride - Chevrolet Sparks

Write up: SoHaute SoChic

New Job

*pheee*

Enraged youth assaults female schoolmate

Only 12 and has published a book!!!!

Sixth sense

My condolences, RIP Melissa Toh

Her

Luxury items

Wedding part VII - Luxe Rental

Wedding part VI- Bridal Concept

Did he eventually propose

Wedding part V

Wedding part IV- Selecting PG

Wedding part III- Bridal Studio

Wedding part II

Wedding- Banquet location

haiz

Wedding Post: The Break up

Carebears CAREBEARS

:)

hmmm

Sprained toe.

Quick updates

Church

Global Healthcare Congress

Naked

Farmers' cries

Unsure

wohooo

pheee